if you know anything about me, you now that one of my favorite TV shows is "house" with hugh laurie. though, if you talk to my friends, you will discover that i have yet to finish watching season 6. this has nothing to do with the show, or the fact that [spoiler alert] cameron has left chase and princeton-plainsboro (that was the last episode that i saw). it's more a matter of time and priorities as well as my own self-awareness when it comes to my TV watching habits. if i start, i won't be able to just stop at one episode. i can't play the carrot-and-stick reward game with my favorite television shows. when i start, i want to watch three or four episodes at a time, and right now, i just don't have that kind of time. well, let me make an amendment to that--i shouldn't spend that much time to watching television.
so while i have yet to finish season 6, "house" is still the one television show that i think about when progress on the dissertation comes to a standstill and when the will to work on my dissertation is low. in fact, it's the one show that inspires me the most when it comes to actually working on my dissertation, setting high goals and expectations for myself, and encourages me to get myself into my writing space (which is my office on campus) each day. believe me, i understand just how odd that statement is. how can a fictional television show inspire anyone to want to write their dissertation? it's house himself--the character, not the actor who portrays him.
in a blog post far far away and in a time long long ago, i wrote about my impressions of house. ever since i started writing my dissertation, but particularly in the last couple of months, i find myself going back to that blog post. in short--house may be socially appalling and ethically reprehensible, but he's damn good at what he does, he has an amazing ability to concentrate and focus on a problem and look at it from all angles, and he devotes an incredible amount of time and energy, heart and soul into the one thing that he values most--medicine, or maybe it's solving a medical mystery (it could be argued that he really does care about saving lives, but nah, i'm not going for it. it's the puzzle that he loves, the thrill of victory and being the one to figure out a puzzle that others couldn't decipher. in another life he probably would have been a codebreaker. but i digress...). it's these qualities that i admire most in gregory house, md, and they are the qualities that i try to emulate when it comes to working on my dissertation.
if house's one thing is medicine and an unmatched ability to solve whatever medical puzzle you throw at him, my one thing is finishing this dissertation. it is the one thing around which everything in my life revolves. i made some major life changes to get here, to this point where i'm a ph.d. candidate and ABD, and finishing the dissertation is going to be the pinnacle of so many of the dreams i've always dreamt but wasn't ever sure i would reach. it's also the one thing on which i am building so many of my hopes for the future. so if the dissertation is my one thing, then i tell myself i should be a lot more focused on it and devoting much more time and energy, heart and soul into it. if i want to have house-like success i have to work like house.
and so oddly here i am on a friday re-committing (for what, the tenth time now?) to working harder and more consistently on the dissertation. i'm going to work even when i don't want to work and i'm going to have to get a lot more serious about setting daily goals and holding my own feet to the fire in terms of meeting those goals before going home and making a fantastic dinner, or sleeping, or playing fallen london... everyone knows that writing a dissertation is hard, that's why not everyone does it. but what only dissertation writers know is that the hardest part about writing the dissertation is motivating yourself to work on a consistent basis. i imagine that i will continue to struggle with this for the next nine months, but when i seem to be going nowhere fast on my project, i'll just ask myself "what would house do?" and i'll have the answer i need.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
doctor who: the lodger
do you want to know what i think? doctor who is really a fine form of escapism.
so last night's episode--the lodger--was brilliant. why? one of my favorite things about it was that the emphasis was on the doctor and all his quirkiness. i'm not saying that i don't like amy pond. i do. but she can get on my nerves sometimes, and i think sometimes there isn't enough focus placed upon the character of the doctor and developing this particular incarnation of the time lord. that's why last night's episode was so fantastic (read: bloody brilliant - i wanted to write that but then thought hey, i'm not british! but man do i love that phrase). the recaps i've read about last night's episodes all emphasized the fact that you got to see the doctor doing normal human things--cooking, playing football (read: soccer), working in an office, showering. but one thing that wasn't answered that i wish they would have answered is this: how did he get the 3000 pounds that he hands over to craig in the first place? i love that he has no concept of money but i just couldn't stop wondering how he got the money in the first place. and the way he hands it to craig and says "here, have some rent" was just classic. and apparently the doctor can talk to animals too, which i don't think i knew until last night. oh other alien life forms, sure, but he can also communicate with cats. excellent.
to be honest, i think i'm the only person that i know who watches doctor who, and i have to wonder why that is. sure, it's a british TV import, but it's a fantastic british TV import that is so much more entertaining than most american TV shows. i mean, i know a lot of people are turned off by science fiction, in fact cringe when you even say the two words together. and granted, the show can be uneven from episode to episode. lots of people didn't find the previous episode, "vincent and the doctor", very good but i think it's my favorite single episode of the season, apart from the premiere. the point is, if you're sitting on the fence about whether or not to give the show a try, jump off the fence by going to your nearest netflix website and watching it for free online. but start with the 2005 season (or series, as they call them across the pond). i made the mistake of starting to watch the show during the current season airing, but it was only when i went back and starting watching from the beginning of the 2005 season (which is when the series went back into production) that a lot of what was happening in this current season made sense. for instance, i started watching with episode #3, and so the daleks meant nothing to me, i didn't understand the whole regeneration thing, and river song was just another character whose connection to the doctor i wasn't fully aware of. it was only when i watched the previous seasons that things started to make sense, and honestly, that my addiction to the show was truly born.
this summer has been a little difficult to get through in terms of television distractions while i waited for the season premieres of eureka and warehouse 13, but once i got hooked on doctor who, it made the wait a lot more bearable. each saturday i've looked forward to the next episode, and yes, i'll be sad when the season ends in two weeks and it'll be nearly a year before the new one arrives. but when you watch as little television as i do, what one watches should be entertaining and yes, truly escapist in nature. doctor who definitely fits the bill.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
to watch or not to watch...
i've started reading this blog called "To Do: Dissertation" (located at tododissertation.wordpress.com if you're interested in reading it too) and one of the most recent posts is about whether or not a person should have a TV while he or she is writing a dissertation. i must admit, i'm a little bit on the fence on this one.
here's the thing: personally, i have been trying to watch less TV, and I've been a lot more conscious about not turning on the TV unless i am intending to really watch something specific. i've stopped wanting to have it on just to have it on. several of the blogs that TD:D listed within its post said that television was a waste of time and that it prevents you from doing other things that are, quite frankly, more enjoyable. i find myself agreeing wholeheartedly with these opinions. case in point: over the 4th of july weekend, i didn't turn on the TV much, and do you know what i got accomplished? i finished a piece of fiction writing that i've been working on for a long time. and when i say that i've been working on it for a long time, i know that the reason for that is that there were times that i could have been writing, or possibly even wanted to write, but i watched TV instead because i convinced myself i was "blocked" and so i walked away from it to occupy my mind with something else. if i had indulged in one of the many marathons that were being shown over the weekend, i wouldn't have finished that story. i wouldn't have that wonderful, exhilarating feeling of happiness and accomplishment. instead i would have been able to say that i watched season five of NCIS for the 12th time, and who really needs that? and who really thinks, honestly thinks, that that is some kind of badge of honor? no one, i'm sure. at least, not if they are honest with themselves.
another thing i have to admit to is the fact that i can't do any work at home, mostly because there are two many distractions, the biggest of which is the television. so when i want to work on my dissertation, i always force myself to leave the apartment and these days, the place i go is my office on campus. and honestly, i am so much more productive because i'm not distracted by the TV. even the distraction of the internet, which i still have access to at the office, is minimal compared to the television. and so there's another point in the "yes" column on whether or not a dissertating writer should give up their TVs.
BUT, i can't. or perhaps the more proper thing to say is that i won't. why? sporting events for one. after i read the blog post on TD:D, i thought to myself, well, maybe i should turn off my cable. i could really do it. there are only a handful of shows that i watch on a regular, committed basis. i even wrote them down--house, the vampire diaries, bones, and fringe during the regular TV season and then in the summer, warehouse 13, eureka, haven ( a new pickup), doctor who and being human. so i could just take the money i spend on cable and use that to buy the season pass of my favorite shows on iTunes (and yes, i'm willing to do that instead of pay hulu $9.95/month for the same access because i'm willing to pay to not have to watch the commercials. i spend enough of my life being advertised to thank you very much). but i soon realized that even if i were to take the iTunes route to get my favorite TV fare, i still wouldn't be able to watch the u.s. open. and what would i do during the baseball playoffs and the world series? so i though okay, i'll just wait until after the world series to turn it off. by then it'll be almost thanksgiving and most shows take an eight week break now it seems so that there are no new episodes from thanksgiving to well after the new year. but then i thought, what about the NCAA tournament? so you see, even though i have no problem getting my scripted series from iTunes (and in fact, i do this quite often anyway), i'm not willing to give up easy access to the sporting events that i find the most viewing pleasure in. i can completely agree that watching such sporting events is a waste of time, but watching them makes me happy, and how can you dismiss that so easily? i guess you could say that being productive also makes me happy, that it fulfills a need, and well, you'd be right. but in the final analysis, i'm still not willing to give up the tube, dissertating or not.
so until i move away from pullman, or have to move into a new apartment, i'll be keeping my cable TV and paying for it, while at the same time i'll keep trying to turn the TV on less and less. to be honest, not watching TV to just be watching whatever is on has definitely made me excited and appreciative about what i do watch, and in the end, that's a really good thing.
here's the thing: personally, i have been trying to watch less TV, and I've been a lot more conscious about not turning on the TV unless i am intending to really watch something specific. i've stopped wanting to have it on just to have it on. several of the blogs that TD:D listed within its post said that television was a waste of time and that it prevents you from doing other things that are, quite frankly, more enjoyable. i find myself agreeing wholeheartedly with these opinions. case in point: over the 4th of july weekend, i didn't turn on the TV much, and do you know what i got accomplished? i finished a piece of fiction writing that i've been working on for a long time. and when i say that i've been working on it for a long time, i know that the reason for that is that there were times that i could have been writing, or possibly even wanted to write, but i watched TV instead because i convinced myself i was "blocked" and so i walked away from it to occupy my mind with something else. if i had indulged in one of the many marathons that were being shown over the weekend, i wouldn't have finished that story. i wouldn't have that wonderful, exhilarating feeling of happiness and accomplishment. instead i would have been able to say that i watched season five of NCIS for the 12th time, and who really needs that? and who really thinks, honestly thinks, that that is some kind of badge of honor? no one, i'm sure. at least, not if they are honest with themselves.
another thing i have to admit to is the fact that i can't do any work at home, mostly because there are two many distractions, the biggest of which is the television. so when i want to work on my dissertation, i always force myself to leave the apartment and these days, the place i go is my office on campus. and honestly, i am so much more productive because i'm not distracted by the TV. even the distraction of the internet, which i still have access to at the office, is minimal compared to the television. and so there's another point in the "yes" column on whether or not a dissertating writer should give up their TVs.
BUT, i can't. or perhaps the more proper thing to say is that i won't. why? sporting events for one. after i read the blog post on TD:D, i thought to myself, well, maybe i should turn off my cable. i could really do it. there are only a handful of shows that i watch on a regular, committed basis. i even wrote them down--house, the vampire diaries, bones, and fringe during the regular TV season and then in the summer, warehouse 13, eureka, haven ( a new pickup), doctor who and being human. so i could just take the money i spend on cable and use that to buy the season pass of my favorite shows on iTunes (and yes, i'm willing to do that instead of pay hulu $9.95/month for the same access because i'm willing to pay to not have to watch the commercials. i spend enough of my life being advertised to thank you very much). but i soon realized that even if i were to take the iTunes route to get my favorite TV fare, i still wouldn't be able to watch the u.s. open. and what would i do during the baseball playoffs and the world series? so i though okay, i'll just wait until after the world series to turn it off. by then it'll be almost thanksgiving and most shows take an eight week break now it seems so that there are no new episodes from thanksgiving to well after the new year. but then i thought, what about the NCAA tournament? so you see, even though i have no problem getting my scripted series from iTunes (and in fact, i do this quite often anyway), i'm not willing to give up easy access to the sporting events that i find the most viewing pleasure in. i can completely agree that watching such sporting events is a waste of time, but watching them makes me happy, and how can you dismiss that so easily? i guess you could say that being productive also makes me happy, that it fulfills a need, and well, you'd be right. but in the final analysis, i'm still not willing to give up the tube, dissertating or not.
so until i move away from pullman, or have to move into a new apartment, i'll be keeping my cable TV and paying for it, while at the same time i'll keep trying to turn the TV on less and less. to be honest, not watching TV to just be watching whatever is on has definitely made me excited and appreciative about what i do watch, and in the end, that's a really good thing.
Friday, October 23, 2009
It's Raining
One might think that the title of this blog post is a mini-homage to the book I finished last week, Jodi Picoult's My Sister's Keeper. in the last section of her book, all the narratives begin with those words--it's raining. but alas, that assumption would be wrong. it's raining here, and it's making me very sleepy and just generally disinterested in doing anything at all except staring at my eyelids.
for the last five days i was supposed to have been working on my dissertation prospectus. "supposed to" being the key words there, since i haven't gotten much done other than thinking of four general ideas that maybe each chapter could be about and some very superficial thinking on what primary texts i could use in my dissertation. that's it. so i'm thinking that today, i'm going to go home, take a nap, then go for coffee and do some work for a couple of hours, so that when i really sit down to work tomorrow i'll have (hopefully) at least a tiny bit to work with instead of a tabula rasa.
for the last five days i was supposed to have been working on my dissertation prospectus. "supposed to" being the key words there, since i haven't gotten much done other than thinking of four general ideas that maybe each chapter could be about and some very superficial thinking on what primary texts i could use in my dissertation. that's it. so i'm thinking that today, i'm going to go home, take a nap, then go for coffee and do some work for a couple of hours, so that when i really sit down to work tomorrow i'll have (hopefully) at least a tiny bit to work with instead of a tabula rasa.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Another Day of Grading & Random Thoughts
random thought #1 - grading is going to go much faster today. mainly because just as i suspected a week after i gave my students their essay prompt, the prompt is just bad. i won't spend much time commenting on them, probably nothing more than how well they built their argument, and then say in class tomorrow that if they are interested in revising this essay for the portfolio to contact me and we can discuss it further. bad me for bad essay prompt!
random thought #2 - it's upsetting that all this week i've been thinking to myself--if i can only get through this week, to noon on monday, then everything will be much better. i kinda thought this mentality was going to go away after i finished my exams, but no. naps have still been riddled with guilt do the very tall stacks of grading that i have been neglecting, and there's still tons of stuff to do. sigh. i can't wait for the thanksgiving holidays!
random thought #2 - it's upsetting that all this week i've been thinking to myself--if i can only get through this week, to noon on monday, then everything will be much better. i kinda thought this mentality was going to go away after i finished my exams, but no. naps have still been riddled with guilt do the very tall stacks of grading that i have been neglecting, and there's still tons of stuff to do. sigh. i can't wait for the thanksgiving holidays!
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Random Thoughts While Sitting in the Coffee Shop
so i'm here at my local coffee shop trying to grade student essays. my first random thought--it really really irritates me when people seem to come to the coffee shop for the sole express purpose of talking on their cell phones, probably talking to people they just left at home or the office. this woman sitting beside me has her computer open, but the first thing she did after sitting down was make a phone call, which she's still on, as if the people sitting around her want to hear her conversation. seriously? what are people thinking these days? are people thinking at all?
random thought #2 - it looks like it's snowing outside, even though it's just dust and pollen floating around in the air.
random thought #3 - i'd like to leave the coffee shop now and go home, but i have yet to finish grading the stack of papers i brought with me, and i said i wouldn't let myself leave until that stack was done. ugh.
random thought #4 - piping through the speakers in the coffee house right now--bon jovi's "never say goodbye". jeez, i haven't heard this song in ages!
random thought #5 (which did not occur in the coffee shop but at home while sitting at my desk watching the yankees/angels baseball game that has gone into extra innings) - i have no idea how to comment on this student's paper, who presents a point of view to which i am so completely diametrically opposed it's almost ridiculous.
random thought #2 - it looks like it's snowing outside, even though it's just dust and pollen floating around in the air.
random thought #3 - i'd like to leave the coffee shop now and go home, but i have yet to finish grading the stack of papers i brought with me, and i said i wouldn't let myself leave until that stack was done. ugh.
random thought #4 - piping through the speakers in the coffee house right now--bon jovi's "never say goodbye". jeez, i haven't heard this song in ages!
random thought #5 (which did not occur in the coffee shop but at home while sitting at my desk watching the yankees/angels baseball game that has gone into extra innings) - i have no idea how to comment on this student's paper, who presents a point of view to which i am so completely diametrically opposed it's almost ridiculous.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Doubting Lisa
So yes, it's been an incredibly long time since my last blog post. Lots and lots has happened since September 21st! First of all, I have finished the written part of my ph.d. qualifying exams. Woo-hoo! More on that later.
Apparently, I either am the worst teacher and chooser of contemporary literature ever or ... or my students just don't like what i've chosen. Perhaps it's a bit of both. We just finished reading Jodi Picoult's My Sister's Keeper, and for the most part, all of my students liked it. Why is this not a good thing? Don't get me wrong, it's a great thing. I'm so glad that they liked it because it's been really hard getting them interested in anything. The thing is that i can't take credit for this book selection -- it's the one that was selected and recommended by last year's class. So after this book, which can be a little downer and a little heavy, i thought it would be nice to read something light and funny...enter Tony Hawks' Round Ireland with a Fridge. It's a travel narrative, and it has dry British humor and wit. and it got absolutely no response from my class. one of my students said that they picked it up to avoid having to do real studying and put it back down again. really? i asked one of my other students after class if the book was really that bad, and they said no, that he liked it. here's the thing: it's hard for me not to care if they like the book or not. it's hard for me to not take it personally. it's hard for me to not let this fill me with all kinds of self-doubt about my ability to teach a successful, engaging, and thought-provoking literature class. i know. it's not all me, but seriously. why is this so hard? i'm not saying that i need it to be easy or expect it to be easy, but i also didn't expect it to be a daily struggle.
Apparently, I either am the worst teacher and chooser of contemporary literature ever or ... or my students just don't like what i've chosen. Perhaps it's a bit of both. We just finished reading Jodi Picoult's My Sister's Keeper, and for the most part, all of my students liked it. Why is this not a good thing? Don't get me wrong, it's a great thing. I'm so glad that they liked it because it's been really hard getting them interested in anything. The thing is that i can't take credit for this book selection -- it's the one that was selected and recommended by last year's class. So after this book, which can be a little downer and a little heavy, i thought it would be nice to read something light and funny...enter Tony Hawks' Round Ireland with a Fridge. It's a travel narrative, and it has dry British humor and wit. and it got absolutely no response from my class. one of my students said that they picked it up to avoid having to do real studying and put it back down again. really? i asked one of my other students after class if the book was really that bad, and they said no, that he liked it. here's the thing: it's hard for me not to care if they like the book or not. it's hard for me to not take it personally. it's hard for me to not let this fill me with all kinds of self-doubt about my ability to teach a successful, engaging, and thought-provoking literature class. i know. it's not all me, but seriously. why is this so hard? i'm not saying that i need it to be easy or expect it to be easy, but i also didn't expect it to be a daily struggle.
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