Thursday, June 25, 2009

I Can't Tell You Why

no, i can't really tell you why i haven't gotten much of anything done today.  i woke up all gung-ho to get my portfolios graded, but i haven't graded a single one though i did go to the office and make copies of my grading rubric and i did update the rubric for the reflection letter and i did bring home 10 portfolios with the idea that i could grade 5 today and 5 tomorrow.  

i also really can't tell you why i am having so much trouble making final decisions on the books i want to include in my reading now class.  though i can say that i'm working on it and i do think i'm getting closer to having made up my mind completely.  i guess i'm worried about choosing too many books.  yeah, i think that's it.  because with the books i'm considering still, it's looking like there will be 4 books by male authors, possibly 4 books by female authors, and one graphic novel. see.  here's the thing.  the graphic novel is short.  what i mean is, we could read that in a week. two of the other books are short story collections.  again, i could do each of those books in a week.  which leaves me 6 books for the remaining 10 weeks of class.  is that doable? are those crazy insane expectations?  i dunno.  i'm still mulling it over.  i'm also trying to pay close attention to the number of pages each book i have under consideration has.  and so far, only three books are over 300 pages--one of those being the selection from last year's 110 class which will automatically be included in the class.  i guess i'll figure it out, right?  i mean, eventually i'll figure it out because there's no other choice.  

i really can't tell you why i have cable.  because there's nothing on TV.  i like to turn the TV on when i'm eating, so that i can have something to distract me.  but seriously, now that the stanley cup playoffs are over, the only thing that really draws my interest is baseball, and not even that gets my attention and keeps it all of the time.  i haven't even watched any of the matches at wimbledon this week.  even as i sit here blogging, the NBA draft is on, and i'm not even watching it and (as is typical for me) the sound is turned down while i listen to the matt nathanson CD on my computer.  

i can't tell you why there are no good bookstores here, either, but i can tell you how much it irritates me that when it comes to buying books, there's no instant gratification in this small college town.  i just spent MORE money at amazon to get a couple of books that i want and i had to tell the so-called barnes & noble store in town to order in two other books for me.  and so now, once again, i'll be playing the waiting game.

"...nothing's wrong as far as i can see, we make it harder than it has to be, but i can't tell you why..."

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

These Are My Confessions

Well, my reading confessions at least. 

Yes, it is true.  I have spent several precious reading hours reading Harry Potter instead of all that "high" literature on my exam lists.  But really, what is a girl to do to escape boredom?  One must find entertainment during the summer where one can, especially since there's no good TV on and I live out in the middle of nowhere where there's not even a Target store for me to kill a restless hour here and there.  What makes this confession even more juicy?  Yes, I will be starting the fifth Harry Potter book in a few days, once I have had time to fully digest everything that happened in the (what is really well-described as "pivotal") fourth book.  Ah...Harry.  Where will your magical exploits lead you next?  And will there ever be a Defense Against the Dark Arts professor that sticks around for more than a year?  Inquiring minds need to know!

But still, even though I have had my head in a Harry Potter book for the last three days, I have also managed to check some stuff off my exam lists.  Here's my list of accomplishments since my last post:

A Room with a View - E. M. Forster
Endgame - Samuel Beckett
Introduction to A Shrinking Island - Jed Esty
Introduction to Victorian and Modern Poetics - Carol T. Christ
Introduction to Fictions of Loss in the Victorian Fin de Siecle - Stephen Arata
"Ulysses, Myth, and Order" - T.S. Eliot

See?  I haven't been a total slacker, have I?  The Introductions are my way of having a feel for what the secondary/critical works are about and arguing that are on my exam lists as well as helping me gauge which ones I need to read more of.  For example, the Jed Esty book will be really helpful as I start to write my dissertation, I think, and I will plan to read more of that book as time permits over the summer.  The Christ book will be good for giving a good overview of the aesthetics of Modernist poets, specifically Yeats and Eliot and Pound.  The Arata book...well, I'm not quite sure how I'll use that one.  It is about degeneration and he looks at several writers that I'm interested in and at books that are on my looks--Dracula, Jekyll & Hyde, She, some works by Rudyard Kipling, etc.  

AND Forster's A Room with a View is one of my new favorite books.  I absolutely loved that book.  The problem is that my advisor asked me today why I liked it so much and I couldn't really give a coherent answer, so I'll have to work on that. 

Lastly, while I have decided I am a Forster fan, I have also decided that I'm not a Beckett fan. What was with him anyway?  I don't think he would have written such crazy rubbish if he'd lived in Ireland instead of Paris.  


Saturday, June 20, 2009

Saturday's All Right for....

getting $2 tank tops at Old Navy and shell pasta for dinner and my good friend JM helping me out in the twitterverse!

hopefully, it's also all right for finishing e.m. forster's a room with a view.  i only have 55 pages left!

here's the other reading i have accomplished since my last post:

"A Retrospect" by Ezra Pound
"Vorticist Manifesto" by Wyndham Lewis
"London Models" by Oscar Wilde
"The Truth of Masks" by Oscar Wilde

i must say, i'm so happy that my exams are in the fall as opposed to the spring.  why?  well, many reasons but if they were in the spring i would feel deprived of my tv watching time. since it's summer, i don't have this problem, because i have way too many channels and there's nothing good on!  which leaves me with no choice but to read so i suppose everything is working out exactly as it's supposed to.  

i am totally liking a room with a view.  i thought at first i wouldn't because it reminds me so much of henry james' a portrait of a lady, but now that i'm almost done i can see that though they do have similarities they are not carbon copies of each other.  i am also discovering that i really do like the work of e.m. forster.  i had read several of his short stories for my 548 class.  i thought a passage to india was just okay, but the short stories and now room have definitely made me realize how much i enjoy his fiction.  i think a passage might just be really different also because it was written almost a decade after a room as well as most of the short stories.

more in a couple of days when i have more reading progress to report!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Reading...Some Progress Has Been Made

well, since my last post, I have actually done a very tiny amount of reading.  I have read all of the following as of this moment:

"Modern Fiction" - Virginia Woolf
"Mr. Bennett & Mrs. Brown" - Virginia Woolf
"Romanticism and Classicism" - T. E. Hulme
The Playboy of the Western World - J. M. Synge

And I have started to read Molloy by Samuel Beckett but i only got about 50 pages into it last night because stream of consciousness novels just kill me.  it took me about 10 pages to get into the rhythm of it but i'm having a hard time picking it back up.  so, i think i'm going to put it on hold and read something else, because well, there are three stacks of books on my fireplace hearth right now, all crying out for my attention.  and, i feel like i need to make the most out of this desire i have to get some reading done while it's still burning hot.  so i'm off to read read read and will report back later with what i hope will be more progress.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Reading T.S. Eliot

believe it or not, i've actually gotten myself into the office on a saturday morning to get some work done on my reading lists. i apologize in advance for the lengthiness of this blog post, but there's a lot to say.  first up--some of T.S. Eliot's discursive prose:

"Tradition and the Individual Talent" (1919)
Quite an illuminating essay.  I have read parts of it before, but it was good to revisit it and read the whole thing in its entirety because surprisingly, it makes more sense that way!  what Eliot is arguing in favor of in this essay, for one, is that in order to be a great poet, one must have a historical sense of the past, and be aware not only of the past and its "pastness" but also of the presence of the past in the present.  he argues that there is an ideal order of art, and that when a new piece of art is created, that existing ideal order must adjust to absorb that new work of art. and he argues that a work cannot be called "art" if it is not new.  at the same time though, he insists that all art is in some way bound up within the tradition of the past, what came before is irrevocably present in what is created today.  he also makes an analogy that i'm sure is pretty noteworthy--that of a catalyst, where platinum is added to oxygen and sulphur dioxide. for eliot, the platinum is analogous to the mind of the poet--without the platinum, the sulfurous acid could not be created, but at the same time, the platinum remains inert and unconsumed.  also for eliot, the mind of the poet acts as a receptacle.  and, eliot is very much of the opinion that it is the poem itself that should be the sole focus of critical attention.  the emotions or feelings or opinions of the poet should never play into the valuation or criticism of the poem--i think part of this opinion rests in his belief that in order to create the poem, the poet does not rely on his own emotions and feelings.  rather, because his mind is a receptacle, the poet collects a series of impressions, emotions, thoughts, feelings that may not all be entirely his own, and when that receptacle is full and the right amount of pressure has been added, that's when the poem comes into being.  and so, the poem is independent of the poet, and hence should not be judged by the idiosyncrasies of the poet but on the terms of the poem itself.  

"Hamlet" (1919)
this is an interesting little essay, not least because it is a piece of criticism on my all-time favorite shakespearean play and additionally because eliot views it not as shakespeare's masterpiece, but instead an artistic failure.  i think he views it as such because while people find the play interesting and as a result see it as a work of art, he believes it is interesting because it is a work of art.  he says that hamlet is the "mona lisa" of literature.  can you believe it?  eliot begins his essay by stating that hamlet the play is the primary problem, and that hamlet itself is the secondary problem, and that critics have often, through the ages, gotten these problems in the incorrect order, focusing on the character when they should be focusing upon the play as a whole.  eliot considers hamlet to be written during a period of crisis that culminated in Coriolanus and Antony & Cleopatra, which eliot believes are shakespeare's master works.  one thing that eliot does throughout the essay is read the play alongside Thomas Kyd's The Spanish Tragedy.  For me, this makes sense, esp. after having read Tradition/Talent--it makes sense that he would see Kyd's play as being a part of that existing ideal order, and that Hamlet, as being a new work of art, must be judged against the historical tradition of tragedy, esp. against the play that it reworked.  eliot ultimately finds the play lacking in artistic merit, saying that the essential emotion of the play is a son's reaction to a guilty mother, and because it is that essential emotion that rules hamlet, rather than revenge, the play can never resolve itself, and that in hamlet, shakespeare attempted a project that was too big for him to successfully complete or manage.   

"The Metaphysical Poets" (1921)
all right.  at first, this essay seemed like it was going to be one big snooze-fest and i was asking myself why it was on my list but then 3/4 of the way through it all finally clicked.  there a few key points i'll take from this essay.  one is eliot's differentiating between the intellectual poet and the reflective poet.  he also says that the poets of the 17th c. possessed a mechanism for sensibility, but that the poets of the latter part of the 17th c. dissociated from this sensibility and english poetry has never recovered from that dissociation.  two, eliot asks the question:  what would have been the fate of the "metaphysical" had the current of poetry descended in a direct line from them, as it descended in a direct line to them? in other words, it seems to me that one of the things that eliot is concerned with in this essay is tracing the history of poetry from Milton and Dryden, who he holds out as exemplars, the disruption of their line by the metaphysical poets, to his current poetical moment.  he seems to view the metaphysical poets as a kind of aberration and that their movement in some way broke the poetical line of descent they had inherited from Milton and Dryden and consequently, that break forever altered the course of english poetry.  three, the thing that interests me most in this essay is eliot's assertion that a poet does not have to be interested in philosophy by necessity, or in any other subject.  however, the poet of his day must be difficult,  and the reason for this is that civilization at the time was various and complex, and so the poet must produce various and complex poetry.  "the poet must become more and more comprehensive, more allusive, more indirect, in order to force, to dislocate if necessary, language into his meaning."  this made me wonder what year the waste land was written (i can so rarely keep those kinds of dates in my head!) and it makes me wonder if this is the very reason why the waste land is so "difficult".

Friday, June 5, 2009

Wasting a Little Time

well, i'm just sitting here in the coffee shop wasting a little time before i have to leave to catch the bus to campus, so i thought i'd blog a little.  just finished grading some papers, which wasn't very good for my outlook on my own teaching this summer but at the same time, i had a great chat with the AD of composition yesterday and she helped me to gain some perspective.  so at least i'm not all worked up and upset like i was earlier in the week.  i guess this is a good thing and will work on accepting those things i cannot change (read: student attitudes).  i have learned some great lessons from teaching this summer that i can take with me into the fall, and for that i'm thankful.

the goal for today is to catch up on all the personal things i need to do that i have been putting off all week.  pay some bills, balance the checkbook, run some errands, etc.  then perhaps a head start on my grading so that i can get some work done on my reading promises as well as some writing over the weekend (luckily, at the moment, i don't have word debt! i'm actually in the black.  what a sweet bonus).  i should also call my mother.  i can't remember the last time i talked to her.  i'm surprised she hasn't called me actually.  so i'll make my weekly check-in and see what's happening in the hot town of wallis.  

i'm realizing that i'm hungry, with no plans for how i'm going to eat before class.  that was an error in judgment.  

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Interested in Hearing About My Day?

if you're still reading, then i guess the answer to this question is yes.  so, my day today.  truly, it's the first day in a long string of days that i've felt....calm, not crazy, normal, not anxious or angst-ridden or in a hurry and unable to tell which way was up.  i wrote this morning. i finished my mocha (read: automatically that translates into a saner me).  then i went and paid a bill and picked up a couple of books i'd ordered from the bookstore (read: i think i paid more for them in the bookstore than i would have if i'd ordered them online).  i went to teach.  i came home.  i waited for UPS.  and then i starting reading one of my new books, just out of the UPS driver's hands.  the perks of being a wallflower by stephen chbosky (more on the experience that reading this book is later).  and after two and a half hours, having gotten to the point where i could no longer ignore my growling stomach, i was forced to put my book down and get up to make dinner.  pasta.  which i have been craving for about a week now.  and while dinner was cooking i even did some dishes.  i know this all sounds so banal and boring, but truly, in my book of days that have so far made up 2009, this one has been a treat.  and as i'm sitting here waiting for the pasta to come out of the oven (because you can't get the full effect unless the cheese is all nice and bubbly!), i'm sitting here asking what exactly has made this day so wonderful, and how can i duplicate it over and over and over again? that, my friends, is indeed the million dollar question.

i must admit, i think it has something to do with the book that i'm reading.  it's stylish and real and beautiful.  beautiful in many of the same ways that i've always thought that the great gatsby is beautiful.  it's written in epistolary form, and i'm serious when i say that i really do feel like i'm the "dear friend" that is being addressed in these letters.  and i can almost painfully imagine the moments that the writer is describing, almost like i'm sitting in the room right next to him watching it all unfold.  i'm almost halfway through and i have no idea how it will end.  i have yet to discover what the perks of being a wallflower are. but i do know that i'm along for the ride.  

though i don't want to say this, i think it's true.  this is the first thing i've read lately that's really touched me on an emotional level.  it's the first thing that's made me want to keep reading.  i have no idea what this means for my future hopes of being a twentieth century lit scholar, other than i think i will find myself wanting to read and write on more contemporary stuff in the future, after the diss is done and i have some kind of job.   

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Another Tuesday Rant

i seem to recall not that long ago ranting on a tuesday.  what is it with me and tuesdays?

this is not part of my rant, but i must say, how happy am i with robin soderling right now?  

but now back to my rant.  wow.  i just got out of the most failed 101 class that i think i've ever taught.  and granted, my experience is not wide and large, but what there is of it, this class so far ranks right up there at the top.  see, it seems to me that students would rather use class time to write their essays rather than writing them at home.  apparently, most of my students this summer don't want that at all.  of course, my initial thought is that most of them don't want to write period, so really, i'm fighting a losing battle either way.  but i can't and won't entertain them every single class period.  and seriously, their essays are terrible.  there is an occasional bright spot.  and i keep thinking that it has to be me.  somehow i'm doing something completely wrong.  the only thing i feel like i'm doing differently this time than i've done in the past is give them different source texts to read and write about.  otherwise, my MO has been pretty much the same.  but with this class, it just isn't working and i'm just not getting through and i don't know how to right the ship.  i don't want to have to pick up something every single class period just to get them to take what i ask them to do in class seriously and assign a point total to it but i guess that that's exactly what i'm going to have to do.  i find myself doing it more and more each time i teach and i've done it a lot in this class.  the thing is that i don't want to have to pick up all that paper and i don't want to read it--but then if i don't read it they'll know that i'm not reading it and still not take it seriously.  and seriously, if i thought i was talking about a small percentage of my students it would be one thing but it feels like this time there's a much larger percentage of students who would rather just not work.  all of this is to say that i had planned to have them do some pre-writing in class all next week leading up to their research papers being due next friday but now i have no idea what i'll have them do so back to the drawing board.  it's just strange and incomprehensible to me because when i did the pre-writing in previously classes it always turned out well but this time it just didn't.  in general, i'm just not really happy.  i mean, i didn't even finish my mocha this morning so you know there's something wrong.  i knew yesterday morning when i woke up that it was going to be one of those weeks and well...so far...i was totally right.