Let Go. What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?
I let go of two things of significance this year. The first was my crazy addiction to television. Prior to 2010, (actually prior to June 2010) I used to always have the TV on. But during the summer I made the decision to try to start watching less television and I also made the decision to only turn on the television when I specifically intended to watch something, and after I had watched that specific show, then it would be time to turn the TV off instead of channel surfing for another hour. Now, I hardly ever turn on the TV. I can go two or three days without turning on the TV and then when I do, I think to myself, when was the last time I turned on my TV? Oh, don't get me wrong. There are still a handful of shows that I will not miss, but that handful is much, much smaller than it used to be, and now when I do actually watch a TV show live or even a download on my computer, it's more of a reward than a procrastination tool. Why did I make this decision? I read a couple of blogs that talked about whether a person should get rid of their TV. I decided that I couldn't get rid of my TV, but that I could stop watching as much TV as I did. This has given me so much time to do so many other things--write, read, work more efficiently, exercise (sometimes) and as ridiculous as it sounds, keep a cleaner house. I am so happy with the decision to let go of my addictive TV watching habits, and if there really is a move in 2011, I am going to try really hard not to have cable or satellite in my new place.
The other thing I let go of in 2010 was a toxic friendship. I think I have probably blogged about this elsewhere, but in 2009 I started to realize that this friendship that I had was toxic and that it really just wasn't very good for me mentally or psychologically. I had started to let go of that friendship in late 2009 but it was difficult to actually hold to that decision. In 2010, though, after returning home from Christmas vacation and spending time with people who really are my friends and who actually love me and are interested in my life, who understand that friendship is a give and take rather take take take, it became much easier for me to let go of that toxic friendship. I don't regret letting go, I do regret that it took me so long to let go and all of the guilt I felt for walking away from someone that I had once called a friend. I use the word guilt here because I did feel guilty--I thought that I had done something wrong or was doing something wrong by letting go. I wasn't. Some people come into your life for a season, and some people come into your life for a reason. I think this person was a little of both, because it reminded me of who I am and what I want and need from the people who are close to me. It also taught me, once more, what true friendship is and what it isn't, and I'm stronger because of that.
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