Shifting Gears

All I can say about the most recent post -- oops!  That's actually for my English 110 class.  Somehow I was on the wrong blog!

But back to me.  So, exams are in T-11 days.  Today I feel fine.  But as I was driving through downtown earlier this afternoon I thought to myself, sure, I feel fine now, but how am i going to feel on monday when i'm meeting with my advisor and it's T-7 days until my exams.  I could very well be freaking out.  Or, maybe I'll be just as fine on monday as i am today.  who knows?  you can never discount the freaking out factor that usually comes when you realize you have one week until the day circled 100 times in red on your calendar.

funny thing is, i can feel myself slowing down.  i mean, i have a very short list of books i'd like to get through before next monday.  i did my best to make this list manageable and reasonable.  but see the thing is...i'm not sure how much more fiction i can cram into my brain.  really, i'm not sure how much more of anything i can cram into my brain at this point.  i feel like i've been reading for months, and well, i have, but now it actually feels like i have, and that sort of makes all the difference mindset-wise.  i'm not sure if what i just said makes any sense at all.  the point is, i'm having trouble picking up the next book, and then the next book, and then the next book.  what had kept me picking up book after book was stark terror and panic.  either i've passed that stage completely (although if i have, i have no idea what comes after that stage - can anyone tell me?) or i just feel ready.  as ready as i'm ever going to feel that is.  i mean, i think there will be definite moments of extreme fear and uncertainty the day that i get my questions, but i think i can manage the stress and i think if i can just get through the first one i'll be able to  get through the second two weeks.  because with the second week at least i'll feel like i have some idea of what i'm doing.

it's weird because i just want to tell myself to relax.  but at the same time i know me.  i need stress in order to produce good work.  and well, writing 20-25 pages in a week will be plenty of stress.  as i keep saying, we'll see what happens.

i do know though that i'm not going to do anything school-related the sunday before exams.  i have no idea what i'm going to do yet--probably go for a workout at the gym and maybe see a movie and do some cleaning and most definitely take a nap.  not sure how else i'll fill that day but i'm definitely open to suggestions...

P.S. after writing this i was asking myself what movies are even out or will be coming out the weekend before my exams.  so i went to the movie theatre website and found the trailer for love happens.  OMG.  i just adore aaron eckhart.  that movie could very well be in my near future...